This is starting to get old. Not the idea, just the format.

This morning I would have had a million things to say. I felt clarity, a sense of purpose and direction. And 12 short hours later, I am lost again. (not really. Mostly I am tired).

I am grateful for this morning. I won't go into detail, but it was really something that I needed, and have lacked for (probably) almost 2 years now. So I'm grateful!

It's my twins' birthday tomorrow. I am so grateful to be their mother. And Eddie's too.
I knew I always wanted a family. I just had no inkling of how much it would actually mean to me when the time came. Not only do I love my children. I like who they are. I am fascinated by how they are growing, what they are becoming...it's been an amazing experience.

I'm not a good mom. Home-making, mothering, doesn't come naturally to me. I wish even now that I could say I'll do better tomorrow, but if I were to be honest, I probably won't. I hope they'll forgive me. I think they'll grow up knowing that I am crazy for them. That with all my weaknesses and faults, that I really love them for who they are. I won't stop trying. Because they are my bliss- I am so grateful for the chance to be their mom.


I don't mean to sound negative. It's bliss for me- to be a mother. It's just also so very humbling...